There is no need to feel hopeless about your relationship
"Hope happens as soon as we start to see good possibilities"
Feeling hopeless is not a good signal for ending your relationship, but it is a signal for a new beginning.
Many people despair that they have wasted years of their lives in a relationship with the wrong person. The reason they feel that way is not because they really have the wrong person, but because they don't know how to improve their relationship. Not seeing any way to improve it, they conclude that it can't be improved. They think that either something must be terribly wrong with them or something is wrong with their partner and that ending the relationship is the only way out. But, this is not true! The only part of this that is true is that you don't know how to make your relationship better. That doesn't mean that nobody knows or that there really is no way. A lot of people have problems they don't know how to fix but then, rather than giving up, they get help.
Even sexless and loveless marriages and relationships can be turned around
This is not the time to begin divorce proceedings or break up. It is the time to realize that neither you nor your partner are happy and that's a good thing. Why is that a good thing? Because you both want the relationship to be different. You both want to have more than what you are getting. And you are both just stuck now because you don't know how to make those changes happen. You are not at opposite places. When couples are ready to give up on their relationship, they often can be more honest about what they want and need than they were in the past. Working with a coach who knows how to help them to create what they want, by helping each other, brings excitement and a new beginning to the relationship. If a relationship coach thought the only way for you to have a good relationship was to divorce and find someone else, he would say so. But that simply doesn't happen.
How Does A Relationship Coach Differ from a Counselor?
While a coach may superficially resemble a counselor because they work with similar kinds of problems, the approach and goals are different. Counselors offer extensive emotional support and their goal is making sure you are mentally healthy and satisfied with your life. A relationship coach assesses your situation and desires and teaches you the skills you need to make changes as soon as possible. Sessions may cost a little more than counseling, but because change happens quickly, it is usually much cheaper and more effective in the long run. Counseling clients often get disappointed because change is not happening quickly enough, and as a result, drop out of treatment. Many who stay in counseling longer say they feel supported, but still don't know how to make effective changes in their relationship. Coaching, on the other hand, is forward-looking and has a "go for it" kind of practicality. Getting busy and getting improvement takes care of hopelessness real fast.
No Place for Blame
Your coach will not help you to assign blame or to endlessly talk about problem issues. Focusing on what is wrong will just make you feel bad about yourself or your partner. Thinking and thinking, or talking and talking, won't help you to make the important changes you can no longer afford to wait for. Your coach will help you to get out of your head and to practically deal with reality piece by piece until you have just the kind of relationship you want. Your coach will help you to know what to say and do to change the way your partner behaves towards you and to make your partner respect you and love you more deeply. Your coach is someone who believes in your ability to make things better. Your coach will remain positive and see you through to success. Most of all, a coach will help you get from where you are to where you want to be.
Real hope comes with real help when you don't know what else to do.