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- Have money in the bank. This is not in order to attract someone. If you cannot manage your finances, you are at a much higher risk for long term relationship failure. The leading cause of conflict in relationships relates to issues with money and finances. At a minimum, have an equivalent of 3 months of expenses saved if you are employed, and 6 months of expenses saved if you are self-employed. This is not rich. This is just like having an emergency medical kit. Without such savings, any kind of upset (job loss, medical problem, car problem, etc.) will create big problems in a short time.
- Use visualization to determine the kind of person who fits your life. Do this after you are really enjoying your life. If the person you choose doesn’t fit your life, then you will have to give up what you enjoy to be with him or her, and will start having problems from the beginning of the relationship. Make sure you determine what kind of person you want before you start looking. Otherwise, you will find someone you like and then compromise your life to match that person. This will be ok at first, but will cause problems later.
- Plan your partner search strategy. Is the best way to find a job to go from door to door? Maybe it is if you are 17 and want to work for minimum wage. Great jobs and great relationships require a strategy. You want the best person you can possibly get, don’t you? How will you look? Where will you look? What is your budget? How many people will you date? Etc. Great partners happen by accident as often as great jobs do. Do you want to depend on luck or on strategy? Which is more likely to get you want you want?
- Be prepared to travel. The person who is right for you may be attending a seminar in France, or teaching surfing in Hawaii. If you want to buy costume jewelry, you can do that at the local department store. When you have a very specific diamond that you would like to purchase—the find of a lifetime, then you will have to go to wherever it is in order to get it.
- Be slow to develop the relationship--trusting only as it is earned. This will lose you many people, but they will all be people who were not good for a long term relationship. If you just want short, intense relationships that later go bad, then skip this step.
Does this sound hard? It is. You cannot get the best that life has to offer you by sitting around and waiting for it to come to you. You don’t have to do any of these things, of course. If you are like most people, you won’t. You can easily get what most people get. Or you can give up the ways that don’t work, learn what does work, and do this repeatedly until you get the best for yourself.
<<<<Is he or she the right one for you?
Questions from single women>>>>
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